-Today we look at ECW's Return of the Funker.
-Return of the Funker was recorded February 25, 1995 from the ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA. There were 1,150 in attendance.
-TV-MA and most complete form possible intros.
-The Pit Bulls vs. Chad Austin and Joel Heartgood: Joey Styles welcomes us to ECW and introduces the team and calls Heartgood Goodheart right at the start. Pit Bull 1 and Austin start. Pit Bull 1 attacks immediately and gets Austin down. Pit Bull 1 slams Austin down. He then beats Austin down in the corner. Pit Bull 1 with a reverse corner whip. Pit Bull 2 in and a double vertical suplex. Pit Bull 2 throws Austin into the corner. Heartgood tagged in and Pit Bull 2 hits a big clothesline. He follows it up with a dropkick. Pit Bull 1 in and throws Heartgood to the outside and then beats Heartgood with a crutch. Pit Bull 2 in and hit Heartgood with a double clothesline and a slingshot shoulder block. They hit the Superbomb to get the pin.
-Raven and Stevie Richards come out. Styles interviews Raven. He says Richards has let him down. He then goes on a soliloquy about different things. Tommy Dreamer says they can settle their differences now. Raven says it's not time, Dreamer needs to feel his pain. Richards says he lost to Dreamer because he was beat up by a couple of guys in a bar. Insert your own Shawn Michaels joke here. He says those guys are the returning Broad Street Bullies, Johhny Hotbody and Tony Stetson. They say there are here to take out Dreamer for Raven. Dreamer comes out and attacks them and Richards with a stop sign to get to Raven. He starts to choke Raven as the others pull him off. Raven attacks Dreamer as the others try to keep them apart. A group of wrestlers come out to separate them.
-Mikey Whipwreck and Hack Meyers vs. Paul Lauria and Jason: Jason and Lauria attack Meyers and Whipwreck from behind. Back and forth. Meyers and Whipwreck with a pair of clotheslines from behind. They trade moves. Meyers throws Whipwreck on Lauria. Meyers and Lauria in. Meyers with the advantage. Whipwreck slams Lauria. Meyers in and punishing Lauria. Meyers with a clothesline to Lauria. Whipwreck with a fist drop to Lauria. He follows it up with a headscissors and then takes both heels over at once when Jason comes in. Whipwreck with a gut wrench to Lauria. Meyers tagged in. He takes Lauria down. Whipwreck back in and Lauria hits him with a spinning heel kick. Jason tagged in. He hits Whipwreck with a back elbow and a knee drop. Double dropkick and Lauria tagged back in. He hits a flying clothesline and a backbreaker. Lauria with a leg drop to Whipwreck from the second rope. Jason with a top rope clothesline. Another backbreaker. Jason slams Lauria on Whipwreck. Lauria throws Whipwreck out. Jason hits Whipwreck with a frying pan. Jason crotches Whipwreck on the top rope. Jason tagged in. He hits a backbreaker and a top rope leg drop. Jason drops an elbow. Lauria tagged in and hits a splash for a two count. Lauria with a bow and arrow. Whipwreck gets to the ropes and they spill out. Whipwreck run into the ring post. Jason tagged in and hits a standing dropkick to Whipwreck. He gets a one count. Jason with an inverted Razor's edge. The video is screwy for this match, but you can still tell what's going on. Jason misses an elbow drop. Jason goes up top, but gets caught with a dropkick from Whipwreck. Jason fights a superplex attempt and dumps Whipwreck off. Meyers shoves Jason off. Jason sends Whipwreck to the outside. Whipwreck misses a top rope dropkick. Lauria and Meyers tagged in. Meyers cleans house. All four men in. Several two counts broken up. Whipwreck and Jason fight out to the floor. A masked man comes into the ring, punches Meyers out, and puts Lauria on top of him. Lauria gets the pin.
-2 Cold Scorpio vs. Hector Guerrero: Guerrero with an arm drag. Scorpio comes back with an arm drag of his own. They circle each other. Back and forth. They get each other down on the mat with leg locks. Guerrero with a rolling neck snap and a forearm. He gets a bear hug on. Guerrero with a corner whip and Scorpio comes back with a headscissors. Guerrero rolls to the outside. Guerrero with a modified abdominal stretch into a backbreaker. Scorpio gets a two count. Guerrero with a side headlock. Guerrero ties up Scorpio on the mat and gets a hammerlock. Good mat wrestling going on. They fight to the outside. Scorpio run into a ring post. Guerrero with a snap mare on the outside. Back in, Scorpio with a backdrop for a two count. They exchange holds on the mat. Guerrero with a takedown for a series of two counts. Scorpio with a superkick for a two count. Scorpio with a powerbomb for another two count. Guerrero with a uppercut and a belly to back suplex for a two count. Guerrero with a splash to Scorpio off the ropes. Scorpio with a moonsault that glances Guerrero slightly. He goes for another, but Guerrero moves out of the way. Guerrero gets a two count. Scorpio with a choke slam for a two count. They roll each other up for two counts. Scorpio drops a knee. Scorpio hits the 450 to get the pin.
-Barbed Wire Baseball Bat Match. Axl vs. Ian Rotten: Exactly what it sounds like. Ian runs out and grabs the bat from the attendant as he was hanging it in the corner. Axl comes to ringside and grabs a chair. Ian comes out after Axl, who slides into the ring with a chair. An Axl chant goes out. Axl deflecting bat shots with the chair. They go outside and more shots deflected. Axl ducks and Ian hits the ring post with the bat. He drops the bat and Axl picks it up. Axl attacks Ian with the bat. Ian busted open. Axl drops the bat and grabs a chair and hits Ian. Why would you ever drop the bat? He then drops the chair. Ian picks another chair up and attacks Axl with it. Ian hits Axl with a nightstick and then drops it. Why are they so dumb? Ian hits Axl with the bat. He then chokes Axl with the bat and gets a two count. Ian runs Axl into the post and then over the barricade into the crowd. They fight out into the crowd. Ian throws Axl back to ringside. Ian hits Axl with a frying pan. Back in the ring, Ian takes the bat and rakes it across Axl's forehead. He then hits Axl's leg with the bat and it gets stuck in Axl's leg. That was a gruesome sight. Ian works the barbed wire over Axl's forehead. Ian puts the bat into the corner to whip Axl into it, but Axl reverses the move and Ian gets whipped in instead. Axl then wraps the wire around Ian and rakes the arm. They are both bloody messes. He chokes Ian with the bat. He then knocks Ian down and gets a two count. Axl throws Ian outside and follows. Axl grabs a cookie tray. He hits Ian with it and they brawl out into the bleachers. Axl suplexes Ian onto the bleachers. He then drops an elbow on Ian. Ian then hits Axl with a fans belt. He lashes Axl with the belt. They fight back to the ring. Axl tearing the clothes off of Ian with the bat. They exchange blows. Ian piledrives Axl to get a two count. Ian attacks Axl with the bat and then places the bat on Axl and splashes Axl. Axl does a modified pedigree like maneuver to Ian on the bat to get the pin. Ian attacks Axl with the bat after the match.
-ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match. Shane Douglas vs. Marty Jannetty: Douglas gets on the mic and talks about his past with Jannetty and says he's going to give Jannetty a wrestling lesson. Douglas asks for a handshake. Jannetty shakes it and Douglas goes to kick Jannetty, but Jannetty catches Douglas's leg. Douglas attacks Jannetty with a forearm. Jannetty rolls Douglas up for a two count. A clothesline gets another two count for Jannetty. They trade shots. Jannetty with an arm drag for a two count and Douglas rolls out to regroup. Back and forth. Jannetty gets a victory roll and a two count. Douglas rolls out again and the crowd chants we want blood. Douglas with a front face lock. Jannetty reverses into a hammerlock. Douglas reverses. Back and forth. Jannetty with a power slam for a two count. Jannetty with a headlock. Douglas with an Irish whip and Jannetty comes back with a takedown. Jannetty with a snap mare and a headlock. Jannetty with a corner whip and mimes a superkick, but Douglas covers up. Douglas with a mule kick. Jannetty rolls to the outside to recover. Douglas beats Jannetty on the apron. He goes to do it a second time and Jannetty clotheslines Douglas on the top rope. He then clotheslines Douglas to the outside. Jannetty runs Douglas into the apron and then whips Douglas up and over the barricade. Jannetty then with a flying clothesline to Douglas over the barricade. They fight out into the crowd. They fight all over the building. Douglas dumps Jannetty onto the barricade. He hits Jannetty with a crutch. Back in, Douglas drops a knee on the ribs of Jannetty. Douglas with a corner whip and a bear hug. Douglas with a clothesline. Jannetty rolls outside. Douglas follows and whips Jannetty into the barricade again. Back and forth. Jannetty runs Douglas into a chair. Douglas sends Jannetty into the ring post. He then backdrops Jannetty onto two chairs. They brawl some more. Douglas grabs a chair and swings it, but Jannetty ducks and Douglas hits the ring post. Jannetty hits a superkick on Douglas. He hits another superkick. He throws Douglas back into the ring. Douglas with a corner whip. They trade blows. Douglas with a charge. Jannetty moves and Douglas hits the post. Jannetty working on the injured shoulder. They fight to the outside. Jannetty throws Douglas into the ring. Back and forth. Jannetty with a Rocker Dropper for a close two count. Jannetty with an atomic drop and a superkick. Douglas rolls out of the way of a fist drop, so Jannetty hits a DDT. He gets another two count. Jannetty goes for a headscissors, but gets caught and slammed down for the pin. That was a great match.
-The Public Enemy come out and Johnny Grunge is pushing Rocco Rock in a wheelchair. Joey Styles interviews them. Rock says everyone saw him moonsault Sabu through a table. The fans chant you were robbed. Grunge says Taz and Sabu are the tag champs, but they are coming after the belts. He says they're going to get even with Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. Benoit and Malenko come out. Grunge tells them that their time is coming. Benoit and Malenko attack the Public Enemy. They run Rock into the barricade in his wheelchair and attack Grunge in the ring. Taz and Sabu come out and attack Malenko and Benoit. Grunge helps Rock back to the dressing room.
-ECW Tag Team Championship Match. Taz and Sabu with Paul E. Dangerously and 911 vs. Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko: They announce that the match has started. Taz and Malenko fight to the outside. Benoit beats Sabu down in the corner. All four back in and Taz and Sabu beaten down, but both make comeback on their opponents for two counts. Sabu rushes Malenko, who drops down and pulls the ropes so Sabu spills out to the floor. Double team to Taz. They clothesline Taz. Sabu back in and Malenko hits him with two suplexes for a two count. Malenko and Benoit hit Sabu with a reverse bulldog powerbomb. Taz hits Benoit and Malenko with suplexes. Taz going off on Benoit and Malenko with a multitude of suplexes. Malenko clips Taz. Sabu thrown back out. Malenko with a leg lock to Taz. Benoit throws Sabu back out. Taz and Sabu roll to the outside. 911 grabs Taz and takes him to the back. Double team on Sabu. Double whip and backdrop. Sabu comes back and hits dropkicks and planchas on both heels. He moonsaults onto Benoit. He then dives on both heels on the outside. He sets a chair up and dives on Malenko and Benoit again. A Sabu chant goes out. He sets a table on the turnbuckle. He sets the chair on the table. Sabu goes up top, but Benoit throws him off. Benoit throws Sabu on the table and powerbombs him off as Paul E cracks Malenko with his phone. Benoit covers Sabu to get the pin. New ECW Tag Champions. Benoit says ECW finally have true champs and issues a challenge to Public Enemy. Public Enemy comes out and get attacked immediately. Public Enemy fighting back as 911 brings Taz back to ringside. He throws Taz on Public Enemy, Benoit, and Malenko. Sabu then hits a crossbody on them. 911 chokeslams referee Pee Wee Moore again. The wrestlers brawl to the back.
-Joey Styles interviews The Sandman and Woman. Sandman can't wrestle, but they have a box that they say has a wrestler in it who will take on Cactus Jack. They call out Cactus Jack, who comes out. Jack gets in the ring and his opponent, DC Drake, gets out of the box.
-Cactus Jack vs. DC Drake: They lock up and push off. Jack with a wrist lock and a headbutt. Drake comes back and bites Jack. They bite each other. Jack beats Drake down. Back and forth. Jack chokes Drake. Jack throws Drake to the outside. He beats on Drake and throws him back in. Drake grabs the timekeepers hammer and hits Cactus with it. Jack throws Drake out again. Drake runs Cactus into the barricade. Drake chokes Cactus with a rope. Cactus with an elbow to Drake from the apron to the floor. He hits Drake with a stop sign. He throws Drake back in and hits the double arm DDT to get the pin. Sandman comes in and hits Jack with the cane. Jack comes back with a bulldog. Woman attacks Jack from behind. Jack attacks Woman. Sandman grabs the cane and attacks Jack. Drake and Sandman double team Jack. Jack comes back. Jack clotheslines Sandman to the outside. Jack and Sandman battle over to the box from before which is covered with a black sheet. Jack throws Sandman into the box. Jack grabs Sandman in the sheet and throws him into the ring. Jack hits some forearms. He grabs the cane and rips the sheet off and it's not the Sandman, but Terry Funk dressed like the Sandman. One of my favorite ECW moments. The crowd cheers wildly. They slap each other. They trade blows. Sandman and Funk double team Jack. Jack gets the cane and hits Funk repeatedly. Funk and Sandman get canes and hit Jack. They beat Sandman down. Other wrestlers come in and get taken out. Tommy Dreamer comes in, gets a cane, and hits Sandman. He faces Funk. He won't hit Funk, who slaps Dreamer. Sandman hits Dreamer from behind. Funk gets on the mic and berates Cactus Jack and the fans. Jack beaten down with a chair. Shane Douglas comes in. Funk gives Douglas the chair. Douglas attacks Sandman and Funk as they sign off.
-Final Thoughts: This was a good show with a great ending. Recommended.